Objet Petit-A

Current mood:quixotic

AS Valentine's Day passes us once again, I can't help but to reflect on what seems to be a common theme for the most part on Myspace. The strive for the "objet petit a". Now, "objet petit a" (object little-a) stands for the unattainable object of Desire. It is sometimes called the object cause of desire. This was first put forth by a French Psychoanalyst named Jacques Lacan in the 1960's.

We've been there, we've chased it, tried to become the center focus of it (hence so many half naked people on this site "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!..LMAO..gotta credit those people), We've run as hard as we possibly can after it....physically, emotionally, or intellectually, but it always stays one step ahead. In layman's terms, it is the driving force for us to continue to move forward with seeking out our fantasies and dreams, to seek to be loved unconditionally and to love someone that way in return. Here, let me help you understand it better by using a few lines from the film "The Life of David Gale":

The Scene:

Thirty animated students (circa 1992) are listening to David lecture. On the white board behind him are phrases: "Lucan," "objet petit a," "Fantasy Theory."

DAVID: Think. What do you fantasize about?

DAVID: World peace? (as no one responds)

DAVID: Thought so. (light laughter)

DAVID: Money-Fame-Ferrari? (as some guys applaud loudly; others then boo them) A Pulitzer? Nobel? M.T.V. Music Award? (applause) A genius hunk -- ostensibly bad but secretly simmering with noble passions, and willing to sleep on the wet spot?

(most of the women laugh)

DAVID: A Victoria's Secret model -- just slumming between law school and running her family's Vastly Endowed Foundation for Tragically Sad-Eyed Children?

(The crowd laughs,)

(David changes tone.)

DAVID: Okay, good, you see Lucan's point. Fantasies must be unrealistic. The minute you get something, you don't, you can't, want it anymore. To exist, desire needs absent objects. So desire supports itself with crazy fantasies...

DAVID: Or why we say, 'The hunt is sweeter than the kill' or 'Be careful what you wish for.

DAVID: Not because you'll get it, but because you're doomed not to want it if you do get it. Think about it next time you're at a wedding.



On that day, we take the time to celebrate the "love" we think we have found, for some, its the celebration of the idea that someone, somewhere out there loves us (they just don't know it yet); so romantically and so deeply that time itself would stand still if we truly found each other. A stitch in time.

The problem is that alot of people have taken their "objet petit a" for granted, changed it's focus ignorantly, lost sight of it all together, or focused it like a laser beam on someone who really just wants something far more different than they do. You know these people; They only really celebrate once a year to stay out of the proverbial "doghouse". They are the most likely to wince in pain and wallow in self pity when it is forcibly realized what they once had in their life has been lost. It is at that point they want to strive for it again. They're are no guaranteed and warranted second chances.

Love is not a "objet petit a"...it is attainable. Its the levels to which YOU are willing to reach in your life that can make YOU strive; that will show you your "objet petit a" again in your life...whether it's him/her giving up on you, or you giving up on him/her.....have YOU bothered to notice that YOU still have "desires"? and if you are in that place where no one is in your life to love romantically, have you bothered to look at your own "objet petit a"? Just what shape is it in?

Just a thought...



To quote my friend Isabella:

"There's a stunning diversity among REAL men, something, no list, no book, no guru, no philosopher, no psychologist could hope to delineate and the women, who announce they want and need a REAL man, need to be searching themselves to determine if they are, infact, deserving of one."

"Definition of a Real Man" Blog

Posted Saturday, October 28, 2006

Her subject is specific but the broad premise is the same.....finding a "real man" (or a real woman) seems to be unattainable as I read so many peoples' pages. Is it your "objet petit a" and just how much are you contributing to strive away from it or for it?

Happy Valentine's Day to all! and Happy Singles Appreciation Day to the rest of us! LOL..